What NOT To Say To Someone With Anxiety (And What To Say Instead)

James

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Post on Aug 08, 2025

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What NOT to Say to Someone with Anxiety (And What to Say Instead)

Anxiety disorders affect millions, impacting daily life in significant ways. Knowing how to support someone struggling with anxiety is crucial, but often, well-meaning friends and family members unintentionally say things that can worsen the situation. This article will equip you with the knowledge to offer genuine support and avoid common pitfalls. Learn what not to say to someone experiencing anxiety, and discover helpful, empathetic alternatives.

The Phrases to Avoid: Minimizing and Invalidating

Many unintentionally minimize the severity of anxiety with phrases that dismiss the sufferer's experience. These statements can be incredibly damaging and isolating.

• "Just relax," "Calm down," or "Don't worry": These are arguably the worst things you can say. Anxiety isn't something that can simply be switched off. Telling someone to relax implies a lack of understanding and control over their condition.
• "Everyone feels anxious sometimes": While true, this statement trivializes the persistent, debilitating nature of anxiety disorders. Comparing a fleeting feeling of nervousness to a chronic condition invalidates their struggle.
• "You're too young/old to be anxious": Age is irrelevant to mental health. Anxiety can manifest at any stage of life.
• "Snap out of it": This dismissive remark suggests a lack of effort on the individual's part, further isolating them.
• "Just think positive thoughts": Positive thinking is helpful for many, but it's not a cure-all for anxiety. For someone struggling, this can feel like pressure to "fix" themselves.
• "I know how you feel": Unless you've personally experienced a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder, avoid this comparison. Empathy is crucial, but avoid unsubstantiated claims of shared experience.

What to Say Instead: Offering Support and Understanding

Instead of minimizing their feelings, focus on validating their experience and offering practical support.

• "I'm here for you": This simple statement conveys support and a willingness to listen without judgment.
• "That sounds really tough. Tell me more": This opens the conversation and shows genuine interest in understanding their experience.
• "I can see you're struggling. Is there anything I can do to help?" Offering practical assistance, such as running errands or helping with chores, can be incredibly valuable.
• "Anxiety is a serious condition, and it's okay to not be okay.": Validating their feelings is crucial. Let them know it's acceptable to struggle.
• "Have you considered talking to a professional? Here are some resources that might help." Gently suggesting professional help shows you care and are invested in their well-being. (Consider offering links to reputable mental health organizations like the or the .)
• "I'm not sure what you're going through, but I want to listen and support you." Honesty and a willingness to learn are key.

Beyond Words: Actions Speak Louder

Remember, support goes beyond words. Active listening, patience, and a genuine effort to understand their experience are crucial. Offering practical help, respecting their boundaries, and encouraging them to seek professional help are all vital aspects of providing effective support.

Conclusion: Making a Real Difference

Learning what not to say to someone with anxiety and replacing those phrases with supportive and validating language can make a significant difference in their life. By fostering understanding and empathy, you can help them navigate their challenges and feel less alone in their struggle. Remember, seeking professional help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Encourage them to reach out for support if they need it.