Supporting Someone With Anxiety: Words To Avoid And Use Instead

James

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Post on Aug 08, 2025

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Supporting Someone with Anxiety: Words to Avoid and Use Instead

Anxiety is a pervasive mental health concern affecting millions worldwide. Knowing how to support a loved one struggling with anxiety is crucial, but often, well-intentioned words can unintentionally worsen their distress. This article explores phrases to avoid when talking to someone with anxiety and offers constructive alternatives that promote understanding and healing.

Why Certain Words Hurt More Than They Help:

Many common phrases, seemingly innocuous, can invalidate a person's experience and increase their anxiety levels. These words often minimize their feelings, offer unhelpful advice, or inadvertently place blame. Understanding why these phrases are detrimental is the first step towards providing effective support.

Words and Phrases to Avoid:

• "Just relax." or "Calm down.": These are incredibly dismissive. Anxiety isn't something someone can simply "turn off." It's a complex condition requiring empathy and understanding, not simplistic solutions.
• "Everyone feels anxious sometimes.": While true, this statement minimizes the severity and impact of a person's ongoing struggle with anxiety. It equates everyday stress with a chronic mental health condition.
• "You shouldn't feel this way." or "Don't worry.": These phrases invalidate their feelings and create pressure to suppress their emotions. This can lead to feelings of shame and isolation.
• "Snap out of it." or "Pull yourself together.": These are incredibly hurtful and dismissive, suggesting the person is somehow responsible for their condition and could overcome it through sheer willpower. This is demonstrably false and unhelpful.
• Offering unsolicited advice: Unless specifically asked for, avoid offering solutions like specific therapies, medications, or self-help strategies. This can feel intrusive and overwhelming.

Constructive Language to Use Instead:

Instead of using dismissive or invalidating language, focus on empathetic and validating responses. Here are some alternatives:

• Instead of "Just relax," try: "I see you're feeling anxious. What can I do to help you feel more comfortable right now?" This acknowledges their feelings and offers support.
• Instead of "Everyone feels anxious sometimes," try: "I know anxiety can be really challenging. I'm here for you." This acknowledges the difficulty without diminishing their experience.
• Instead of "You shouldn't feel this way," try: "It sounds like you're going through a really tough time. I'm here to listen." This validates their feelings and offers a safe space to express themselves.
• Instead of "Snap out of it," try: "I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Is there anything I can do to make things easier?" This expresses compassion and offers practical support.
• Focus on active listening: Let them share their experience without interruption or judgment. Simply listening and validating their feelings can be incredibly powerful.

Beyond Words: Practical Support for Someone with Anxiety:

• Encourage professional help: Gently suggest seeking professional help from a therapist or counselor. (link to a relevant resource).
• Offer practical support: Help with chores, errands, or other tasks that might feel overwhelming.
• Engage in relaxing activities together: Spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness, or engaging in gentle exercise can be helpful.
• Learn about anxiety: Educate yourself about anxiety disorders to better understand their experience. is an excellent resource.
• Be patient and understanding: Recovery takes time. Be patient and supportive throughout their journey.

Conclusion:

Supporting someone with anxiety requires sensitivity, empathy, and a willingness to learn. By choosing our words carefully and offering practical support, we can create a safe and encouraging environment for those struggling with this challenging condition. Remember, your understanding and compassion can make a significant difference in their life. Learn more about anxiety and how to provide effective support by exploring resources like the ADAA website. Your support can be a lifeline.