Still Grieving: Coping With The Loss Of My Mother 18 Years Later

James

3 min read

Post on May 13, 2025

4.3

Share

Still Grieving: Coping with the Loss of My Mother 18 Years Later

The ache in my chest isn't a physical one, though it feels like it. Eighteen years have passed since my mother's death, yet the grief, though softened by time, remains a constant companion. It’s a quiet hum in the background of my life, sometimes a roar that threatens to consume me. This isn't about closure; it's about the enduring reality of grief and the ongoing journey of coping with loss.

Many believe grief has a timeline, a neatly packaged process with a clear beginning and end. This is a harmful misconception. While the intensity might lessen, the love and the loss remain. My mother's absence is a persistent void, a poignant reminder of what I've lost. This long-term grief, sometimes referred to as prolonged grief disorder (PGD), is a valid and often misunderstood experience.

Understanding Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD)

PGD is characterized by intense yearning and longing for the deceased, coupled with persistent difficulty accepting the loss. Symptoms can include:

• Intrusive thoughts and memories of the deceased.
• Emotional numbness or detachment.
• Difficulty functioning in daily life.
• Avoidance of reminders of the deceased.
• Intense feelings of anger, bitterness, or guilt.

It’s crucial to remember that experiencing these feelings doesn't mean you're failing to cope. It means you're grieving, and that's a perfectly natural response to an immense loss. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a testament to your strength and desire to navigate this challenging phase. A therapist specializing in grief counseling can provide valuable tools and support. [Link to resource on finding grief counselors]

Coping Mechanisms: Finding Solace in the Long Term

Over the years, I've discovered several strategies that help me manage my grief:

• Journaling: Writing down my thoughts and feelings has been incredibly cathartic. It allows me to process my emotions without judgment.
• Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices help me stay grounded in the present moment, reducing the overwhelming power of grief's intensity. [Link to mindfulness/meditation resources]
• Connecting with Others: Sharing my experiences with trusted friends and family, or joining a support group, offers a sense of connection and understanding. [Link to grief support groups]
• Honoring Her Memory: I find solace in remembering my mother through cherished photographs, favorite recipes, and stories. This keeps her memory alive in a positive and healthy way.

Beyond the Timeline: Embracing the Journey

Eighteen years later, I still grieve. It's a part of who I am, woven into the fabric of my being. My grief doesn't define me, but it shapes me. It has taught me resilience, empathy, and the profound value of human connection. The journey is ongoing, and there are days when the pain is sharper than others. But acknowledging the grief, honoring the memory, and seeking support when needed allows me to navigate this long-term journey with grace and strength. If you're facing prolonged grief, remember you are not alone. Help is available, and healing is possible, even years after the loss.

Call to Action: If you are struggling with prolonged grief, consider reaching out to a mental health professional or support group. Your journey toward healing is valid and important.